Light Delay · Episode 11
Sixty-Two
Theo asks his mother whether his father was ever coming home. Her answer is to keep listening, and this time Theo hears what his father stopped saying.
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A summer night in the kitchen, crickets outside.
Theo Message seventy-one. Ship date the fifteenth of February, twenty forty-two. It got to us in October. I was ten. I played it once, said "okay", and went out to ride my bike.
Theo Forty-six years later, I played it again, and I counted.
A soft playback chime.
The ship under thrust, a deep steady engine rumble.
Michael Quick one today. Busy week. Lena ran the numbers on the plant again. You know the plant, the one that makes the fuel when we get there. She's been running them every week, because that's what Lena's like. And it's fine. It's all fine. Everything's fine. The numbers are fine.
Michael Anyway. Tomas lost a chess game to the man in Lisbon. First one he's lost. He's taking it very badly. He's asked for a rematch, and the man in Lisbon has said yes, but every move takes years now, so the rematch should be done by about the time you're in college. Over.
The message ends with a soft click.
Back in the kitchen.
Theo Four. "Fine", four times, in eleven seconds. My father was the worst liar I have ever met. He told you everything three times. And when he didn't want to tell you something, he told you it was fine four times, and then he talked about chess.
The series theme, with the title card over it.
Announcer Light Delay, presented by the VoiceFrequency Network. Episode eleven: Sixty-Two.
A quiet apartment in the afternoon, a clock ticking, traffic far off.
Theo I went to see my mother on Wednesday morning. No groceries. I sat down in the chair by the window, and I told her before I could stop myself.
Theo Sixty-two. It was locked. I guessed your word.
Grace You guessed my word.
Theo Blue.
Grace Of course it was blue. What else was it ever going to be.
Theo I stopped it, Mom. After one sentence. I stopped it.
Grace Which sentence?
Theo "Gracie, I know what we agreed, and I know it's harder on you than it is on me, because you're the one who has to look at him every day."
Grace Yes. That's the first sentence.
Theo What did you agree?
Grace Theo.
Theo Was he ever coming back?
Grace Play the messages.
Theo I'm fifty-six, Mom. I've done the sum. The plant, the fuel, the two years, home in twenty ninety-four. I've done it three times. The numbers are fine. Everything's fine.
Grace Don't. Don't do his voice.
Theo Was he ever coming back?
Grace Play the messages, Theo. All of them, in order, the way you said you would. And when you get to the one you never answered, come and ask me again. And I'll tell you. I promise you I'll tell you.
Theo The one I never answered.
Grace You know the one.
Theo I did know the one. I didn't say anything.
Grace You used my word. You had no right to my word.
Theo I know.
Grace I'd have given it to you, if you'd asked. Eventually. That's the worst of it.
A summer night in the kitchen, crickets outside.
Mikey Eleven.
Theo Eleven what?
Mikey I went back through my notes. Up to message sixty-five, he says "when I get back", or "when I'm home", eleven times. The ballgame. The turkey. Teaching you to drive. Eleven times.
Theo And after sixty-five?
Mikey None. Not once. He says "when we get there". He says "at Halcyon". He never says "back" again.
A soft playback chime.
Theo Message seventy-three. Ship date the first of March. Three-quarters of the speed of light.
The ship under thrust, a deep steady engine rumble.
Michael We're going three-quarters of the speed of light today. Tomas wrote it on the board in the galley, with a little drawing of a snail. He says that's us, compared to where we're going.
Michael Lena's been telling me what she'll do first, when we get there. She wants to find a beach. Not to sit on. To dig. She says the edge of the water is where anything interesting would be, if there's anything interesting at all. She'll send you pictures. We'll send you pictures of everything. You'll be the first kid on Earth to see another planet's beach. Well. You won't be a kid. But you'll be the first. Over.
The message ends with a soft click.
Back in the kitchen.
Mikey "You won't be a kid."
Theo I'd be thirty-four when he got there. Fifty-six by the time I heard about it. He knew that. He'd always known that.
A soft playback chime.
Theo Message seventy-five. It came on Christmas Day, twenty forty-two. He'd recorded it in March.
The ship under thrust, a deep steady engine rumble.
Michael It's March here. I'm recording your Christmas message in March. That's how far ahead I have to think now. Nine months. I'm a very organized man now. Your mother wouldn't recognize me.
Michael Merry Christmas, buddy. I hope you got the bike. I don't know if you got the bike, because I don't know if you asked for the bike, because you haven't told me yet. But I hope it's the bike.
Michael I used to say "next Christmas". "Next Christmas, I'll do the lights. Next Christmas, we'll go to Grandpa Joe's." I'm going to stop doing that for a while. It's bad luck, on a ship. Tomas says so. Tomas says lots of things are bad luck. So. No "next". Just this one. Merry Christmas. This one. Over.
The message ends with a soft click.
Back in the kitchen.
Mikey "It's bad luck on a ship."
Theo Tomas didn't say that.
Mikey How do you know?
Theo Because Tomas never once said anything was bad luck. Not in any message I've ever heard. He made it up. He needed a reason to stop saying "next", and he gave it to Tomas.
Mikey Did you get the bike?
Theo I got the bike. Blue.
Mikey Same time tomorrow?
Theo Same time.
Footsteps going up a wooden staircase.
A summer night in the kitchen, crickets outside.
Theo When I was fifteen, I took the calendar off my bedroom wall. The one for twenty ninety-four, with the baseball on my birthday. I always thought I'd stopped believing him all on my own. Like it was something I worked out, growing up.
Theo It wasn't. He stopped saying it first. Message sixty-six. I was ten. I just took five more years to catch up.
Theo Message seventy-six, tomorrow.
The closing theme, the piano under the announcer.
Announcer You've been listening to episode eleven of Light Delay, on the VoiceFrequency Network.
Announcer In our next episode: the end of Book One. The engine stops, the ship begins to coast, and Theo finds a message that was never in the numbers.